Friday, September 28, 2012
Ode to 2011
This was written one year ago. So thankful for an easier year in 2012, in many ways!
Ode to 2011
We shall not soon forget.
2011, a record breaking year
Blizzards, tornadoes, hurricanes, and floods
Twelve months of destruction, causing some to fear.
The shimmering snow fell foot after foot.
New England weather, no longer friend-but foe.
Torrents of rain, sheeting down
The fierce winds, they did blow
Streets uncleared, school and business’ closed
January blizzards left us in distress
As roofs groaned and collapsed under ‘the mother load’.
For week after exhausting week, we shoveled the frozen mess.
Bursting rivers beyond their banks
As spring rains fell, weathermen eyed the record page
Homeowners and shopkeepers huddled, helpless
As uncaring waters swallowed buildings, in rage.
Air so thick, victims tossed in it’s angry fog
There was a night sky with an eerie hue
When it was over, we learned her name
Destruction-clothed in green, purple, and blue.
Anticipating carefree days under the shining sun
With outstretched arms, summer we did embrace
Short-lived joy, as temperatures soared to record heights
Behind air conditioners and fans, we did hide our face.
August finally arrived and Irene came to visit.
An unwelcome guest, we did not need
She laid ancient trees to waste, left our state in the dark
Then, we stood in long lines for showers and the MRE’s we’d receive.
Yet again, plans quickly derailed
Just as mail delivery had resumed, telling of the school start date
Irene’s cousin Lee, had come ashore
As flood waters once again rose, we wondered at our fate.
Breathe in the crisp cool air
View the brilliant colors of fall, now beginning to show
Walk slowly, while an apple you crunch
For next month-we welcome back the snow.
MaryEllen (Mel) Smith Tavares © 2011
Developing the Habit of an 'Attitude of Gratitude'
Sept 28, 2012
I just found this post in my 'draft' folder. I read it and thought to myself "Wow, what a difference a year makes. I'm so thankful that we've not carried this load in 2012!" It is amazing when we take the time to look back. There, we find perspective. Those storms in life (literal and figurative) that we thought would be the death of us-are but a distant memory. The saying my grandmother used to quote is "This too, shall pass." I had a hard time understanding that quote, as a young girl. Sometimes now, as an adult, I have to be reminded again. This too, shall pass. Most of our struggles and trials aren't remembered even a year later, never mind 5 or 10 years. For those momentous events that change the course of life forever, there is grace. Grace and strength to continue on, despite the enduring pain and struggle resulting from the trial.
Here's my post from 10 mos ago:
November 2011
Thanksgiving is coming. I've been thinking a lot about all that I am thankful for, things that have occurred this past year. The list is long. It contains obvious gianormous landmark events like being my cleared of the initial breast cancer (mis) diagnosis and being able to pay off our mortgage. Mostly, my list contains things less obvious, and perhaps taken for granted by some. Unappreciated by others. Not me. I am so thankful for even the basics of life.
I am thankful for our home, which is still standing-albeit that the roof was ripped off this past summer in a horrific storm and had to be replaced. I am thankful that the insurance company saw fit to cover us and that we found a contractor right away. (This, in and of itself, was no small feat, as thousands of customers were needing repairs after the winter of 2011.) I am thankful that when tree branches fell during all the storms, they did not fall on our cars or house or garage.
I am thankful for the electricity that comes to our home. Never mind the fact that we were out of power for a number of days, twice in the past couple of months. Or the fact that I threw out a couple hundred dollars worth of food twice over. Or how much income we lost due to hubby's places of employment being shut down. Or how much money I spent purchasing candles, batteries and such. Or how strange it was to to wash my hair and dry it in the Dunkin Donuts bathroom :O (hey-desperate times call for desperate measures) All of these inconveniences only served to make me thankful for the fact that most of the time, we do have electricity at our home, and can afford to pay the bill.
Many here in Connecticut found themselves in situations this fall, similar to those around the world-facing life with no running water and no bathroom facilities. I am thankful that I am on city water and sewer, and was able to use the cold water. I am thankful for shelters that were open to those without.
I just found this post in my 'draft' folder. I read it and thought to myself "Wow, what a difference a year makes. I'm so thankful that we've not carried this load in 2012!" It is amazing when we take the time to look back. There, we find perspective. Those storms in life (literal and figurative) that we thought would be the death of us-are but a distant memory. The saying my grandmother used to quote is "This too, shall pass." I had a hard time understanding that quote, as a young girl. Sometimes now, as an adult, I have to be reminded again. This too, shall pass. Most of our struggles and trials aren't remembered even a year later, never mind 5 or 10 years. For those momentous events that change the course of life forever, there is grace. Grace and strength to continue on, despite the enduring pain and struggle resulting from the trial.
Here's my post from 10 mos ago:
November 2011
Thanksgiving is coming. I've been thinking a lot about all that I am thankful for, things that have occurred this past year. The list is long. It contains obvious gianormous landmark events like being my cleared of the initial breast cancer (mis) diagnosis and being able to pay off our mortgage. Mostly, my list contains things less obvious, and perhaps taken for granted by some. Unappreciated by others. Not me. I am so thankful for even the basics of life.
I am thankful for our home, which is still standing-albeit that the roof was ripped off this past summer in a horrific storm and had to be replaced. I am thankful that the insurance company saw fit to cover us and that we found a contractor right away. (This, in and of itself, was no small feat, as thousands of customers were needing repairs after the winter of 2011.) I am thankful that when tree branches fell during all the storms, they did not fall on our cars or house or garage.
I am thankful for the electricity that comes to our home. Never mind the fact that we were out of power for a number of days, twice in the past couple of months. Or the fact that I threw out a couple hundred dollars worth of food twice over. Or how much income we lost due to hubby's places of employment being shut down. Or how much money I spent purchasing candles, batteries and such. Or how strange it was to to wash my hair and dry it in the Dunkin Donuts bathroom :O (hey-desperate times call for desperate measures) All of these inconveniences only served to make me thankful for the fact that most of the time, we do have electricity at our home, and can afford to pay the bill.
Many here in Connecticut found themselves in situations this fall, similar to those around the world-facing life with no running water and no bathroom facilities. I am thankful that I am on city water and sewer, and was able to use the cold water. I am thankful for shelters that were open to those without.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Three Hearts Movie Review
I have just reviewed another book for booksneeze.com.
The review can be found at amazon.com, as well.
http://www.amazon.com/Three-Hearts-Cissie-Graham-Lynch/product-reviews/1400320720/ref=cm_cr_dp_see_all_btm?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending
For more information on how you can become a booksneeze reviewer, go to
http://booksneeze.com/blogger
5.0 out of 5 stars
Three Hearts Will Enlarge Your Heart, September 27, 2012
This review is from: Three Hearts (DVD)
This movie is perhaps the most riveting of any that I have seen in
recent years. It is the story of Cassie, granddaughter of the great
Billy Graham, and her quest to understand the plight of children in
third world countries. Her journey to Mongolia turned out to have far
more of an impact on her than on those she was there to help. As she
collaborated to bring medically fragile children to the U.S. for heart
surgery, her own heart became enlarged with compassion for the children,
their families, and the host families in the U.S. You will laugh and
cry, celebrate the miracles, and grow in your own desire to help those
in need.
The review can be found at amazon.com, as well.
http://www.amazon.com/Three-Hearts-Cissie-Graham-Lynch/product-reviews/1400320720/ref=cm_cr_dp_see_all_btm?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending
For more information on how you can become a booksneeze reviewer, go to
http://booksneeze.com/blogger
Your Table is The Centerpiece of Your Home
I've been talking with different people over the past couple months, about my stance that the dining room (or kitchen) table in the centerpiece of the home. I have long since adhered to this belief and have experienced the reality of it in my own life. The table is where connectedness happens.
The obvious comes to mind when speaking of the table and its' purpose. Eating. I say obvious, but in the rat race world we live in today, eating family dinner is becoming of less importance to many families. I find this tragic, and believe the result is the continued demise of a connected family.
According to a CBS news report just two years ago, 78% of Americans report eating dinner at the same table. 22% admit up front, to not eating dinner together.
I found the high number of 78% to be perplexing and contrary to what I am told by people across the U.S. After further research, the reality of the statistic became more clear. Of the 78%, 33% say the TV is always on during dinner and another 27% say it is on at least half the time. 5 % admit that phones and other electronic devices are always used during family meal time, while another 10% admitted that the devices are 'often' in use.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, NOW the statistic makes more sense. The TRUTH is, only 3% of the initial 78% actually CONNECT, undistracted at the dinner table! WOW.
As recently as just twenty years ago, family dinner was a global expectation, even in America. By family dinner, I mean an undistracted family dinner, void of TV and electronics. Regardless of who had what after school activities and evening meetings, everyone was expected to be at the dinner table at the same time AND to use that time to connect with each other.
Today, the norm has shifted. A high percentage of mothers are working and not home to make evening meals. More often than not, after school activities are scheduled throughout the evening, including family dinner hour. This makes it all but impossible for a parent to pull the family together for dinner.
The rat race that we live in today, and the 21st century custom of always being 'plugged in' has created the staggering reality that less than 1/4 of families connect their lives while eating dinner together. This reality explains some things to me. For example, it explains why parents do not know what their children are doing in school. What homework is due the next day. What project was well received and got an A. What issues are going on at school and on the bus, such as bullying. The fire drill that happened in the middle of a math test. I use the example of public school students, because statistics show that families who choose to homeschool or enroll their students in private school, are amongst the 25% who still feel the need to adhere to traditional family dinners.
Communication of the big and small things happens around the undistracted family dinner table! It isn't just about what happened while the kids were in school. It is also the place to discuss a national or global event, such as an earthquake or the economy. Not by watching the news during the meal and making side comments, but by discussing what one of the family may have heard earlier on the news or from a co-worker or in school. By discussing such matters with all age levels in the family, practical application can be made, regarding the impact it has/will make on the individual family.
Undistracted conversations at the family dinner table create a bond that is not easily broken. Not all comments and conversations need to be of a serious nature. Sometimes, jokes are told or the latest movie discussed. Sometimes the latest fashion trend is discussed. Whatever the topic of conversation, the important factor is that there IS a conversation.
I've spent a few minutes discussing families gathering around the table for dinner. Is that the only purpose of the table, which is the centerpiece of the home? No. I can think of numerous things that we've used and continue to use our table for. Here is the list, in part.
Whether working outside of the home, working from a home office, a homeschooling mom, or perhaps a mom able to stay at home without added responsibilities of work or teaching; it is important to make time each day, to be together at the table! It is where families should purpose to gather, at dinner, if at no other time that day! It is the centerpiece of your home!
The obvious comes to mind when speaking of the table and its' purpose. Eating. I say obvious, but in the rat race world we live in today, eating family dinner is becoming of less importance to many families. I find this tragic, and believe the result is the continued demise of a connected family.
According to a CBS news report just two years ago, 78% of Americans report eating dinner at the same table. 22% admit up front, to not eating dinner together.
I found the high number of 78% to be perplexing and contrary to what I am told by people across the U.S. After further research, the reality of the statistic became more clear. Of the 78%, 33% say the TV is always on during dinner and another 27% say it is on at least half the time. 5 % admit that phones and other electronic devices are always used during family meal time, while another 10% admitted that the devices are 'often' in use.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, NOW the statistic makes more sense. The TRUTH is, only 3% of the initial 78% actually CONNECT, undistracted at the dinner table! WOW.
As recently as just twenty years ago, family dinner was a global expectation, even in America. By family dinner, I mean an undistracted family dinner, void of TV and electronics. Regardless of who had what after school activities and evening meetings, everyone was expected to be at the dinner table at the same time AND to use that time to connect with each other.
Today, the norm has shifted. A high percentage of mothers are working and not home to make evening meals. More often than not, after school activities are scheduled throughout the evening, including family dinner hour. This makes it all but impossible for a parent to pull the family together for dinner.
The rat race that we live in today, and the 21st century custom of always being 'plugged in' has created the staggering reality that less than 1/4 of families connect their lives while eating dinner together. This reality explains some things to me. For example, it explains why parents do not know what their children are doing in school. What homework is due the next day. What project was well received and got an A. What issues are going on at school and on the bus, such as bullying. The fire drill that happened in the middle of a math test. I use the example of public school students, because statistics show that families who choose to homeschool or enroll their students in private school, are amongst the 25% who still feel the need to adhere to traditional family dinners.
Communication of the big and small things happens around the undistracted family dinner table! It isn't just about what happened while the kids were in school. It is also the place to discuss a national or global event, such as an earthquake or the economy. Not by watching the news during the meal and making side comments, but by discussing what one of the family may have heard earlier on the news or from a co-worker or in school. By discussing such matters with all age levels in the family, practical application can be made, regarding the impact it has/will make on the individual family.
Undistracted conversations at the family dinner table create a bond that is not easily broken. Not all comments and conversations need to be of a serious nature. Sometimes, jokes are told or the latest movie discussed. Sometimes the latest fashion trend is discussed. Whatever the topic of conversation, the important factor is that there IS a conversation.
I've spent a few minutes discussing families gathering around the table for dinner. Is that the only purpose of the table, which is the centerpiece of the home? No. I can think of numerous things that we've used and continue to use our table for. Here is the list, in part.
- It is where we rolled out cookies we often bake
- Where we play board games
- Where we do crafts and hobbies
- Where matchbox cars were played with on cookie sheets filled with cornmeal
- Where homemade bubble gum was made
- Where gifts are wrapped for an upcoming celebration
- It is where coffee has been served for decades, to guests visiting our home
Whether working outside of the home, working from a home office, a homeschooling mom, or perhaps a mom able to stay at home without added responsibilities of work or teaching; it is important to make time each day, to be together at the table! It is where families should purpose to gather, at dinner, if at no other time that day! It is the centerpiece of your home!
Finding a Work-Life Balance For You and Your Family
I am hereby confessing that I am the first in line for the train headed to Eden. I've had enough. I can't take this rat race one more day.
I find myself having to revisit my own mantra, many many times a year. In this day and age, it is so easy to get sucked back into the frenzied lifestyle of America, isn't it?
In my book, "Return to Eden", I wrote of the need for the woman to keep the priority of the house being in order, and family needs met. I wrote about the need to simplify, and to stay focused on the basics. I wrote about the challenge of women working outside of the home and the need to strike a work-life balance. I am re-reading my own book, to glean nuggets of wisdom on how to strike this delicate balance, because suddenly I find myself struggling to find the simplicity that I have become accustomed to.
A month ago, I enrolled the youngest child in private school, which promptly dispatched my 15 year career of being a homeschool teacher. To everything there is a season, and the season of homeschooling kids has come to an end, because the needs are beyond my scope of ability to teach. Private school isn't cheap. Public middle school in this city, is an option my husband and I refuse to entertain. So, the decision to enroll in private school has, in essence, created the decision for me to put on a suit and head back to an office.
I start a job on Monday, at a new law firm in town. I haven't held an 'office job' in 15 years, except for an 8 month stint a few years back. The last time I had kids in school and worked full time, I was 35 years old. At 50, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, to say the least.
I knew it would be a rough transition, but had no idea how challenging it would be. Because of written language delays, my son has required extensive help from me doing his homework each night and studying for upcoming tests. Truth be told, I am putting more time in now per day than I ever did homeschooling! Getting the homework done has started to consume our very lives. Now, I need to add a work day to that schedule?
I find myself wondering things like "How will I find time to work?" "How will I ever find time to clean the house?" "Will I be able to serve them something homemade and nutritious for dinner each night?" "When will I ever have time to write those books, anyway?" The list goes on and on.
I refuse to live back in the rat race. I am on the first train to Eden, before it is too late.
The challenge will be this: to find simplicity and maintain the lifestyle we are used to, even though the sands have shifted. I have the weekend left, to prepare for the final phase of this transition. The quest is on. As I move through the month ahead, time will reveal how well organized the house is, the home office, the filing system, the pantry, and the clothes closets. I will keep you posted. Meanwhile, I shall be walking this new path out, one day at a time.
I find myself having to revisit my own mantra, many many times a year. In this day and age, it is so easy to get sucked back into the frenzied lifestyle of America, isn't it?
In my book, "Return to Eden", I wrote of the need for the woman to keep the priority of the house being in order, and family needs met. I wrote about the need to simplify, and to stay focused on the basics. I wrote about the challenge of women working outside of the home and the need to strike a work-life balance. I am re-reading my own book, to glean nuggets of wisdom on how to strike this delicate balance, because suddenly I find myself struggling to find the simplicity that I have become accustomed to.
A month ago, I enrolled the youngest child in private school, which promptly dispatched my 15 year career of being a homeschool teacher. To everything there is a season, and the season of homeschooling kids has come to an end, because the needs are beyond my scope of ability to teach. Private school isn't cheap. Public middle school in this city, is an option my husband and I refuse to entertain. So, the decision to enroll in private school has, in essence, created the decision for me to put on a suit and head back to an office.
I start a job on Monday, at a new law firm in town. I haven't held an 'office job' in 15 years, except for an 8 month stint a few years back. The last time I had kids in school and worked full time, I was 35 years old. At 50, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, to say the least.
I knew it would be a rough transition, but had no idea how challenging it would be. Because of written language delays, my son has required extensive help from me doing his homework each night and studying for upcoming tests. Truth be told, I am putting more time in now per day than I ever did homeschooling! Getting the homework done has started to consume our very lives. Now, I need to add a work day to that schedule?
I find myself wondering things like "How will I find time to work?" "How will I ever find time to clean the house?" "Will I be able to serve them something homemade and nutritious for dinner each night?" "When will I ever have time to write those books, anyway?" The list goes on and on.
I refuse to live back in the rat race. I am on the first train to Eden, before it is too late.
The challenge will be this: to find simplicity and maintain the lifestyle we are used to, even though the sands have shifted. I have the weekend left, to prepare for the final phase of this transition. The quest is on. As I move through the month ahead, time will reveal how well organized the house is, the home office, the filing system, the pantry, and the clothes closets. I will keep you posted. Meanwhile, I shall be walking this new path out, one day at a time.
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