The obvious comes to mind when speaking of the table and its' purpose. Eating. I say obvious, but in the rat race world we live in today, eating family dinner is becoming of less importance to many families. I find this tragic, and believe the result is the continued demise of a connected family.
According to a CBS news report just two years ago, 78% of Americans report eating dinner at the same table. 22% admit up front, to not eating dinner together.
I found the high number of 78% to be perplexing and contrary to what I am told by people across the U.S. After further research, the reality of the statistic became more clear. Of the 78%, 33% say the TV is always on during dinner and another 27% say it is on at least half the time. 5 % admit that phones and other electronic devices are always used during family meal time, while another 10% admitted that the devices are 'often' in use.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, NOW the statistic makes more sense. The TRUTH is, only 3% of the initial 78% actually CONNECT, undistracted at the dinner table! WOW.
As recently as just twenty years ago, family dinner was a global expectation, even in America. By family dinner, I mean an undistracted family dinner, void of TV and electronics. Regardless of who had what after school activities and evening meetings, everyone was expected to be at the dinner table at the same time AND to use that time to connect with each other.
Today, the norm has shifted. A high percentage of mothers are working and not home to make evening meals. More often than not, after school activities are scheduled throughout the evening, including family dinner hour. This makes it all but impossible for a parent to pull the family together for dinner.
The rat race that we live in today, and the 21st century custom of always being 'plugged in' has created the staggering reality that less than 1/4 of families connect their lives while eating dinner together. This reality explains some things to me. For example, it explains why parents do not know what their children are doing in school. What homework is due the next day. What project was well received and got an A. What issues are going on at school and on the bus, such as bullying. The fire drill that happened in the middle of a math test. I use the example of public school students, because statistics show that families who choose to homeschool or enroll their students in private school, are amongst the 25% who still feel the need to adhere to traditional family dinners.
Communication of the big and small things happens around the undistracted family dinner table! It isn't just about what happened while the kids were in school. It is also the place to discuss a national or global event, such as an earthquake or the economy. Not by watching the news during the meal and making side comments, but by discussing what one of the family may have heard earlier on the news or from a co-worker or in school. By discussing such matters with all age levels in the family, practical application can be made, regarding the impact it has/will make on the individual family.
Undistracted conversations at the family dinner table create a bond that is not easily broken. Not all comments and conversations need to be of a serious nature. Sometimes, jokes are told or the latest movie discussed. Sometimes the latest fashion trend is discussed. Whatever the topic of conversation, the important factor is that there IS a conversation.
I've spent a few minutes discussing families gathering around the table for dinner. Is that the only purpose of the table, which is the centerpiece of the home? No. I can think of numerous things that we've used and continue to use our table for. Here is the list, in part.
- It is where we rolled out cookies we often bake
- Where we play board games
- Where we do crafts and hobbies
- Where matchbox cars were played with on cookie sheets filled with cornmeal
- Where homemade bubble gum was made
- Where gifts are wrapped for an upcoming celebration
- It is where coffee has been served for decades, to guests visiting our home
Whether working outside of the home, working from a home office, a homeschooling mom, or perhaps a mom able to stay at home without added responsibilities of work or teaching; it is important to make time each day, to be together at the table! It is where families should purpose to gather, at dinner, if at no other time that day! It is the centerpiece of your home!
