I am hereby confessing that I am the first in line for the train headed to Eden. I've had enough. I can't take this rat race one more day.
I find myself having to revisit my own mantra, many many times a year. In this day and age, it is so easy to get sucked back into the frenzied lifestyle of America, isn't it?
In my book, "Return to Eden", I wrote of the need for the woman to keep the priority of the house being in order, and family needs met. I wrote about the need to simplify, and to stay focused on the basics. I wrote about the challenge of women working outside of the home and the need to strike a work-life balance. I am re-reading my own book, to glean nuggets of wisdom on how to strike this delicate balance, because suddenly I find myself struggling to find the simplicity that I have become accustomed to.
A month ago, I enrolled the youngest child in private school, which
promptly dispatched my 15 year career of being a homeschool teacher. To everything there is a season, and the season of homeschooling kids has come to an end, because the needs are beyond my scope of ability to teach. Private school isn't cheap. Public middle school in this city, is an option my husband and I refuse to entertain. So, the decision to enroll in private school has, in essence, created the decision for me to put on a suit and head back to an office.
I start a job on Monday, at a new law firm in town. I haven't held an
'office job' in 15 years, except for an 8 month stint a few years back. The last time I had kids in
school and worked full time, I was 35 years old. At 50, I am feeling a
bit overwhelmed, to say the least.
I knew it would be a rough transition, but had no idea how challenging it would be. Because of written language delays, my son has required extensive help from me doing his homework each night and studying for upcoming tests. Truth be told, I am putting more time in now per day than I ever did homeschooling! Getting the homework done has started to consume our very lives. Now, I need to add a work day to that schedule?
I find myself wondering things like "How will I find time to work?" "How will I ever find time to clean the house?" "Will I be able to serve them something homemade and nutritious for dinner each night?" "When will I ever have time to write those books, anyway?" The list goes on and on.
I refuse to live back in the rat race. I am on the first train to Eden, before it is too late.
The challenge will be this: to find simplicity and maintain the lifestyle we are used to, even though the sands have shifted. I have the weekend left, to prepare for the final phase of this transition. The quest is on. As I move through the month ahead, time will reveal how well organized the house is, the home office, the filing system, the pantry, and the clothes closets. I will keep you posted. Meanwhile, I shall be walking this new path out, one day at a time.
