Working for a Living-Looking Forward to 2012?
Life is …
“Leaving the house in the morning, dressed in clothes that you bought on credit card for work, driving through the traffic in a car that you are still paying for, putting in fuel that you cannot afford, in order to get to the job that you hate but need so badly so that you can pay for the clothes, car, fuel and the house that you leave empty the whole day, in order to live in it”
Are you laughing? Crying? Just nodding your head in hopeless agreement? It seems like the life you're supposed to have, doesn't it? Isn't that the way the world works? Aren't we taught from birth that this is our purpose in life? Here in America, isn't this touted as the American Dream?
I used to think that too. Then, back about 15 years ago, the whole concept started bothering me. Alot. I spent six months searching my heart and soul. Sitting at my desk in corporate America, looking at pictures of my kids that were growing up way too fast. I'd ponder things like "What is the point of having a family, if I never get to see them?" "What is the point of earning all this money, if I'm going to expend most of it in bills?" "Why do I work all these hours, just so I can have a vacation a couple times a year?" "Why am I expending all of my years doing everything I don't want to do, so that I can retire? By then, kids will have grown up and I will have missed it. Parents will have died and I will not have had the time to spend with them....." Nothing made sense anymore. I found myself in an internal battle, unwilling to accept the norm that had been fed to me, yet unsure of how to break free.
During this time, I sought much counsel. Biblical counsel. I read every book that I could get my hands on. I prayed much. I spent alot of time with the elderly folk I knew, asking them about how life was 'in their day'. I struggled with being torn between all I'd believed my whole life about the purpose in life and the reality in which I was living. The fact was, it just wasn't lining up. I knew I didn't have my priorities in order and my kids didn't come first. The job came first. It had to. Our daily lives were ruled by the almighty buck.
"There has to be a way", I kept thinking to myself.
I started thinking "What if...what if.....I just walked off the job? Gave my notice, and never looked back?" I started running some numbers. First I looked at all of the expenses that were created by me going to work, just as the beginning quote states. Extra car (new one, at that). Fuel and insurance on the car. Suits. Heels. Haircuts. Lunches and coffees while I was on the road. Un-reimbursed travel expenses. Daycare.
Next, I took a hard look at which budget items were really luxuries and not something that we needed. That was hard to swallow. Vacations. Wants-not needs. Sigh. Admission tickets to entertainment spots. You know, all the things that allow us to escape the reality of the rat race we are living in or the lives we are living that we are not satisfied with.
As I continued crunching numbers, I began to research ways to cut expenses. I started thinking things like "What if I just went back to living the way people lived 50 years ago? I wonder what would happen then?" "What if I found ways to cut even basic expenses, like paper products and heat?" Could I do it then?
By the time I was done with my budget books and with my soul searching, I knew it was time. I called my boss and said "I am done. Finished. Giving my notice." Because of my position, it took me awhile to transition out. I agreed to stay in the position, as long as they agreed to let me move my office home and begin working from there. Agreed.
All said and done, it took about 18 mos for me to finally be out from under that job. They had to find someone to replace me. I had to train the person. They kept me on as a consultant for another year. During that time, I paid off debt that had accumulated. I did things like buy household appliances and blankets and whatever else I thought we might need but would no longer have the income to buy. I had another baby, which as you know-brings a whole raft of expenses. Over the next 10 years, I took on a variety of contracted jobs, to supplement the household income. At one point, I went back into the workforce for a short time, after my then husband was injured and unable to work. I was miserable. It wasn't working for me. I quit the workforce to come home, again. My great-grandmother used to say "Make do or do without". I decided that was good advice and adopted it as my life mantra.
When I went through my divorce, I knew I needed to find something to do from home that would fulfill the need to bring in some extra cash for the rent. In my career, I'd worked many admin positions that required me to do extensive writing, so I decided to start freelancing. That was five years ago. It works for me. When I need more money, I take on more work. If the bills are paid and the budget is on track, I cut my hours back. I was blessed to meet my amazing hubby and marry him three years ago, and he is a hard worker. We have an agreement that unless I NEED to work, I won't. The time may come when I need to be earning more. If that is the case, I will step up the freelancing. I don't know if I will ever be able to return to corporate America. I've been spoiled this past 15 years and enjoy the simple things of life. Having tasted the freedom of living simplistically, I'd have to think long and hard about what expense is so critical that it requires me to return to work 'out there'.
Am I saying that it has been an easy road, to leave corporate America? By no means. It has and continues to require sacrifice. Things like pulling the kids from the private school and committing to homeschooling them these past 15 years. That hasn't been an easy road, but it has been the right decision, for us. The kids have not enjoyed all the technological gadgets that others their age have. I am not convinced they are deprived on that count. More than what they've missed out on, are the experiences and opportunities they've gained, because I walked out of my corporate office. Living on less requires creativity and a willingness to find alternatives to the things that used to suck the life out of the budget. You learn to seek out free community events, like art gala opening receptions. Hey, it is free admission that night AND a premier! God even provided a way for me to take each of my girls to Florida for a vacation. They've been to El Salvador on a missions trip. They've traveled New England. They are rich in experiences, which are now carrying them in their adult lives.
After Joe and I got married, he lost his job. I was only working as a part time freelancer. We had 4 kids in the house. We were on a bare bones, no frills budget. He's working again now, and we're finally able to start setting aside monies in our family fun budget line. Even so, most would say we are being frugal about our expenditures while having fun. Let me tell you some of the fun things we've done just this summer as a family (now only 1 kid at home).
We went to Six Flags for $50, gas included. How? My son earned the passes for him and I, by reading. Yep. They have a program that encourages kids in K-6 to read and reward those hours of reading with free passes! I bought Joe's at a discount, packed our food and drinks and went for the day. It was just as much fun as if we'd spent a couple hundred!
We went to see a minor league team that plays afew miles from us. We even took another teen, to 'hang' with our son. The four of us enjoyed hot dogs and drinks, while watching the game behind home plate, for just $20. The boys even got free hats and the opportunity to be out on the field with the team, because we arrived early.
We went to Fenway to see a Red Sox game. Ok, admittedly--that was $150, all said and done. Still, because we were willing to sit in seats with an 'obstructed view', we got the cheaper seats. We all enjoyed the hot dogs, crackerjacks, peanuts and usual fare, but Joe and I were splitting ours-figuring we really didn't need all that food, anyway. It was a great day at the ball park.
We had a 4 day beach vacation, for under $500 for the family. We stayed at a great bed and breakfast right on the beach there in Rhode Island. World famous beaches for $500? Oh yeah. I had to do a lot of searching to find the B & B, and we went during the week and off season in June, before the real tourist season started. We borrowed boogie boards instead of buying them. Breakfast was provided. We bought lunch food and snacks for the fridge. We ate dinner out, but at modest local places that allowed the 3 of us to eat for under $25 (no it was not fast food!)
We've enjoyed much of the summer foods that everyone else has enjoyed. The difference is that I make the food myself. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. We look at the plates and say "This would have cost us $50 or $100 if we'd gone out. This is healthier and cost only a fraction of the price." I don't think I often spend more than $20 for even the biggest celebration dinners. Most of the time-if I shop the sales, I can do a 3 course meal for $10! We had lobster and steak for our anniversary this year. We could have gone to one of the local restaurants, many of which are 4 stars. That anniversary dinner would have cost close to $200. We went to the local grocer and had them cook the lobsters (for free) and enjoyed an amazing meal for under $50-while our son was at football practice-complete with the black dress, candlelight and dancing to our favorite music. Really, would the restaurant have been any better?
The list goes on. We had a great summer. And a great fall. And, we will have a great winter. Christmas? Right. We love Christmas.I'll save my frugal gift giving topic for another time....
Am I saying that it is bad for you to be working? No! Did I write this to put you on a guilt trip about working? Not at all. My purpose in writing this is simply to say "If you are sick of getting up and going to work to pay for all the stuff that you have no time to enjoy because you are working, there is hope. If you are sick of spending your life working instead of living and you wish that you could just be DONE, or at least cut back your hours or change jobs, there is hope! It IS possible, even in 21st Century America, to live a simple life. To take a hard look at your budget, decide what you NEED for an income and then only work the hours necessary to meet the budget."
I know the economy is tough. I know you may be in debt. I've sat with hundreds of men and women over the years, and have also been a team leader of financial classes. I say the same to everyone "There are ways to trim and downsize" I've yet to meet a person who was not able to achieve their goals and dreams, if armed with a diligent spirit and a willingness to make sacrifices. Even the dream of leaving the job behind or reducing the number of hours worked.
